Yesterday I mentioned that people who find themselves embarrassed in discussions following a death should NOT be. Everything that needs to be conveyed can be handled by a hug, a kiss, or a simple expression of sorrow. But, time marches on. When we see our friends following a recent death, there is no need to be fearful of engaging in a simple, relaxed conversation about the lost friend or relative.
That person is dead. That is the simple reality, and the person in mourning already finds him or herself in the process of moving on. To discuss the good qualities of the deceased, to verbally celebrate that much-loved life is relaxing and encouraging for everyone involved.
Two things mix well in dealing with death: laughter and tears, and they are not contradictory. If you work at this, you will see that your friend may very well be laughing and crying simultaneously, and both reflect an element of reality. Neither is to be shunned.
It is regrettable, that while we are all joyful with the birth of a healthy child, we find it difficult to celebrate or discuss a friend’s journey into eternal life, which we hold as unending joy. Birth and death: the bookends of our life on this planet, live together and should not be feared.