Forgiveness is one of the countless gifts given by God to the human condition. Life is difficult. Mistakes are made. Errors committed. Sinfulness happens. And much of this happens at home, with our families and the ones we love the most.
Forgiveness is the gift that allows us to get past these hurdles.
Let’s keep it simple, and If we want advice in this area, take it from Jesus, who said “Forgive, forgive, forgive.”
Posts tagged: hurt
How burdensome is the too common human failure of “carrying a grudge”? This load can drag you down as nothing else. Grudges typically flow from a single source that many of us experience. We have been hurt. Sometimes, when we are hurt, we tend to put the worst possible movitation on the person who generated that hurt.
The fact is that most of these little social mishaps are accidental or unintentional. Even if we know a person intended the slight, it’s usually not an important thing to us except that our overly sensitive ego reacts and our pride is hurt.
So what? Mistakes are made, left and right. Some generated by us; some by friends; and yes, some by enemies. Will it matter tomorrow? CHOOSE NOT TO LET IT MATTER.
Don’t let those grudges pull you down!
Have you ever been around a group of students, watching them covort outside on the school grounds, or been in a car with them as they drive to the beach? if you have, then you probably noticed something that is almost unceasing in terms of their activities together. They tease each other a great deal.
Teasing by itself is not a bad thing. It depends on how it’s done, to whom it’s done, by whom it’s done and for what purpose it’s done. Teasing in and of itself is not evil. It CAN be evil, and it can be very, very destructive.
I have a seat of the pants rule about teasing that I’ve tried to live with, and that I’ve shared when I’ve given retreats or talks to young people, and I call it the McCarthy Rule. I also share it with older people who are responsible for raising the next generation. They ought to be sensitive to the potential seriousness of teasing and have a way to offer people the opportunity to tease without inflicting pain or real damage into the life of another person. The McCarthy Rule is this:
You can tease people all you want in areas of their strengths and confidence.
You cannot tease people without running the risk of pain and destructiveness by teasing them in their areas of weaknesses or self-consciousness or limitations. So, here is an example I use: The star athlete is almost down to the goal line, and he reaches back to catch the pass that is delivered to him perfectly, and he drops it. You can tease him about that. He’s not going to enjoy the teasing, but he’s a terrific athlete, and he can handle that.
Teasing people who are clumsy in their ability to be a really good ball player, or teasing people who are not overly endowed with academic ability about doing poorly, or being the slowest member of the class-that’s cruel and destructive. If we can’t be sure of someone’s strengths, we’d probably be better off if we didn’t tease at all.
Each of us needs to examine our conscience and see if there is any teasing in our lives that really hurts people. Do we generate laughs when a crowd is around at other people’s expense? Do we make other people laugh by putting others on the verge of tears? An honest look might help.
The Catholic Church is the largest voluntary membership organization on the planet. It’s organized in at least 180 different nations. It’s story stretches back 2000 years, and it strives on a daily basis to educate millions of young people to care for other millions of sick and elderly people. It overall is given credit for extraordinary activities for the betterment of the human family.
Why do so many people hate it? I find that a fascinating question, and I’d like to talk about it for a half dozen blogs or so. To begin with, I will divide those ill-disposed into Catholicism into two major groups: those who dislike one or another aspect of Catholicism due to some regrettable misconception or misunderstanding of an aspect of the Church, and the second group (I’m not sure which is the larger of the two groups) is one who’s hostility and anger is generated by incompetent, mismanaged or merely stupid policies emmanating from the Church itself.
Let me start with the first group. Tune in on Friday and I’ll endeavor to explain why the Catholic Church usually restricts the reception of the Eucharist to its own baptized and committed members.
Hold your anger!
Yesterday I made a brief comment about the common human failure of “carrying a grudge”. This typically flows from a single source that many of us experience. We have been hurt, and sometimes when we are hurt we tend to put the worst possible movitation on the person who generated that hurt. The fact is that most of these little social mishaps are accidental or unintentional. Even if we know a person intended the slight, it’s usually not an important thing to us except that our overly sensitive ego reacts and our pride is hurt.
So what? Go back to the opening statement. Mistakes are made, left and right. Some generated by us; some by friends; and yes, some by enemies. Will it matter tomorrow? Choose not to let it matter.
Don’t let those grudges pull you down!